Complaining is a (wonderful, amazing, almost as good as winning the lottery) hobby that everyone has done. Do not deny that you hate complaining. You love to complain, you just hate listening to it.
When complaining to someone we feel like someone actually gives a shit about our problems when actually 80% of the time they're thinking "Hmm I wonder what happens if I burn my toes off? It must be more interesting than this pile of shit."
This is why therapists get a good pay, they have the shittiest jobs ever. (Okay, maybe not since clowns have the job of being retarded for amusement.)
Circle of complaining goes like this:
Well fuck all, in the end everyone's just gonna get a big fat headache.
And so this is why I have devised a plan to lessen complaints. Not permanently destroy all complaints from the earth (2012 apocalypse would be true if that happened.), but just lessen it so everyone won't get crazy.
1. Complain.
It may seem ridiculous to cure complaints by complaining (kinda like curing a hangover by drinking more alcohol...) but it should work!
You can't keep bullshit inside you forever or you'll explode one day like a bullshit volcano. So yes, complain away. Just let it out once though.
ONCE.
2. Find a solution.
Girlfriend left you? Find a prostitute.
Boyfriend cheated? Cut his balls off.
Too much homework? Feed it to your dog.
No problem in this world does not have a solution, the only complication is that some people are unwilling to solve it and would rather just wallow in their sadness.
3. Get over it.
So you got AIDS from the prostitute, jailed for assaulting the cheater, and you failed your finals. Well nothing can be done, time to move on.
Note: Just a humourous way to talk to my self-conscience, do some photoshop, and dabble in "philosophy" or whatever the hell it is.
@ The Oatmeal. Click HERE. 
