Omg lolz i got this from an email. It seems nowadays i get loads of lulz stuff.
GSCE 'O' Levels
Hokkien Exam Paper
Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
Question:
Singalella why become rich ?
Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella.
She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
CPF poon boh.
But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
So he say, "oeh, long chong lai ah."
Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu standard."
Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
Tap pai how, buay zhiak, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi mee.
Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?"
So Singaalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian."
She never expect but the neighbour say, "Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money."
So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different.
She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui one.
Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came in.
Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai."
Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"
Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there.
But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor.
He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban.
So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee.
Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien....
A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.
zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.
leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.
kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
kua here oo epic lulz
lolz @ Gay Jay Chou
...so it seems some people are still damn bo liao.
But lol it's hilarious. So inspiration comes from boredom? O_o
Hmm... boggles the mind.
(by the way, if you're chinese-deficit, the video contains hamsap lyrics of Jay Chou's Qi Li Xiang. )
LOL CAO HAI. Thanks to Jay's 咬字, there's entertainment for us. And the 2nd vid is huo fuck yuan jia
I think this is the funniest one though. xD
from: last person on earth who doesn't get turned on by Initial D
Dear Vivian .
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds with Paris Hilton and I saw you put leeches on Machester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. (holy effing hell NOH.) I'm returning our matching snoopy-bibs (huh?) to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Go and drown yourself,
Hui Min
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Just joking! =D
I'm not really gonna turn into a transvestite and sell myself on the streets of Love Lane and I don't really like garbage men or fat black cows chicks!
Just doing a tag given by jesshie KOK!
And sorry to vivo for scaring you. =)
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your Journal).I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___,-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - CastratePink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family
I tag:
EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN PERSON WHO DOES THIS!
Goddamn do it! You know you want to! xD
............................................................................................................................................................................
Now for an update on my real life.
I went to genting last Thursday until Sunday. And honestly goddamn man.
So. Many. Lalas.
Me and jooling played a game where each lala we found = 2 points. After just 2 days we got together about 400 points. Freaking crazy. And lalas come in groups mobs hordes INFINITE NUMBERS!
Scary.
Lala shoes of death. *shudders*
...and cao hai. It seems like i'm the last person on earth who sucks at doesn't like Initial D. Even monks go all the way to genting to play.
So that was my weekend and umm... "few" days of skipping school. Nothing much you know.
School was BORING! Museum was even MOAR BORING! The museum was so boring that I and a few other freaks actually bothered to come out of the cold nice air conditioned museum and squat in the hot museum garden like drug addicts playing Cho Dai Di.
Cho dai di's some chinese poker game lar. Learned it last week from some friend in genting. Siao jooling played until 4am in the morning with them. >_>
Images from here. Quite a funny blog. Go visit! =D
Cho dai di's a good game at passing time. Play until like 3 hours non stop. >_> Gambling IS fun.
Please excuse my occasional dork moments.
"I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed."
-Kumar
(From the film 'Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay', written by David Feinberg)
And the poem recited from the film.
(another) to do list.
I am a...
LAZY ASS.
It's been like what, 2 months since I've last updated?
PMR was a reasonable excuse not to blog, but like it's over so yeah, I better get my ass off the bed.
Anyways, imma making this a to do list so it's much convenient and easier.
TO DO's
1. Bake.
Omg I've baked and eaten so much chcocolate cake and cookies I think my shit would come out as chocolate cake and cookies.
Oh wait... They already do.
2. Learn how to connect external speakers to a laptop
...and at the same time learn wtf is a Male RCA Adapter.
http://www.avcable.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=RCA-ADAPTER-MALE
Holy shit on a stick. I just googled it and THIS came out. Wtf is the difference between male and female adapters anyways?! Ah shoot me I need Steve Jobs or Bill Gates as my secreatary.
3. Blood-ify some stuff for halloween.
Red food colouring? Check. (red food colouring is used because it's harder to remove off clothes and will require a few times of washing to remove, thus making it more realistic. Cause real blood stains clothes?) Screwed up sanity? Check. Easy-to-blood-ify clothes? Umm... umm... umm... No. Most of my clothes are black. Shit.
4. Make a straightjacket.
Yes hell I'm trying to make THIS. Well actually no. I'm just sewing longer sleeves and finding some sort of buckle to connect them sleeves and then sewing another random buckle-belt thingy somewhere. I'm making a black one though cause white clothes I have none.
5. Find my Sims 2 expansion packs.
YESH I ARE NERD. LEAVE ME ALONE.
6. Buy a scorpion.
The pet store is at Bukit Bendera! Just nidda find some random day and hitchhike's Seetha's Dad's car and imma get a friggin scorpion.
(Edit: Oh shit omg they need so much care and even a tank like thingy to keep them in with a heat mat?! Wat da... )
Well that's pretty much it. I'm a pretty simple person.
I spy with my little eye... A TAG!
Tagged by... THE BOOGIE MAN!!!
......actully no that was a joke, I was tagged by JessiKok!
Three names you go by: Stupid head, huimin, Lyra
Three screen names you have had:
-Lyra, huimin-ey, feifeiduck
Three physical things you like about yourself:
-my forefivehead, my eyes, and my outer fuck-ness (yes it is physical, you just can't see it. you can FEEL it though.)
Three physical things you DON'T like about yourself:
-dead straight hair that effs the wrong way, my outer eff-ness, and my 2nd toes are longer han my big toes?
Three parts of your heritage:
- mom, dad, and satan
Three things that scare you:
- NO INTERNET. skank face (scares me shitless), and myself.
Three of your everyday essentials:
-sleep, air, daydreams.
Three things you're wearing right now:
- nothing, nothing and nothing. (none of your business to be knowin about me clothes, thank you very much.)
Three of your favourite bands or musical arts (currently):
-silence (the most beautiful sound ever, if only people knew how to STFU.), Big Bang, and random headbang music.
Three of your favourite songs (right now):
-Look Only At My by Tae
-Whatcha Think About That by PCD. (YESH I KNOW! DON'T NIDDA TELL ME!)
-Breakin Dishes by Rihanna
Three things you want in a relationship:
-telekinetic powers
-sleepy time (no one gets between me and my naps, no one.)
-skittles
Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeals to you:
-Hair. No denying that. I love hair.
-boxers. >_>
-randomness
Three of your hobbies:
-Sleeping
-shitting
-anything.
Three thing you wanna do really badly right now:
-Study finish my geography and history.
-Read finish my Berita Harian newspaper. (I damn hate reading malay. So susah one.)
-get magical powers to heal the ulcer in my THROAT!
Three careers you're considering/considered before:
-psychologist (definitely. No other way to express my fashizzle except this career.)
-ventriloquist
-surgeon (cut people up! =D)
Three places you wanna go on vacation:
-Italy
-Venice
-Amsterdam
Three things you want to do before you die:
-psychologist.
-find a Juicy Couture store and bow down before my god.
-shave my head, AGAIN. Part of it anyways, i want some stripes.
Three ways that you are Stereotypical a girl/guy:
- I think too much. Chicks just think too much.
-Too over emotional sometimes. It pisses me off. Just a teeny tiny bit and I be moody liao.
-I think Megan Fox is hawt hawwwtttt man.
Four people that you would like to see take this quiz now:
- And I shan't spare Susian just cause I can.
- Laizhu. Just cause she's an eff always online.
- hooiping. DETER HER FROM STUDIES SO THE PMR RATE IS LOWER SO WE IMBECILES CAN GET HIGHER GRADES!
-Vivi! She pokes me.
Fuck me.
Xml is annoying and complicating.
Can't blogspot just use html?!
Yes, yes they use html in their classic templates but the new templates have widgets.
So yes, tempt me with your widgets won't you.
Damn you blogspot.
My blog layout is like >__> now. No words to describe. Just imagine me rolling my eyes.
Omg it looks fug. The colours are all wrong. Ah SHIT.
PMR over I redo it la. Plus I did this in like 15 mins nia.
Edit: And DAMN! The maker of the blog layout is Spanish. Great. That's why I couldn't read the codes.