It is 30th of April 2008.
Birthday past 2 days ago.
Wasn't amazing or anything, but it does make me officially 15 years old.
To be totally honest, I hate birthdays. Birthdays should not exist.
In 365 of 366 days in a years, you only get appreciated specially for one day.
One day. Just one day.
I know it's selfish to think that, but aren't we all special? 1 day is all we get? For about 364 days all we get is normal treatment?
Scratch that I say, freaking scratch that. We are all special and we deserve to get more than 1 day of appreciation out of the 365 days in a year.
From now I'm gonna celebrate my Unbirthday. And yes, it's in capital and even birthdays don't get treatment cause my Unbirthdays are special!
Everyday I wake up and get a new day, a new chance to live, redo the wrongs and add to the rights I've done, a new attempt at the chances I've missed. All the oppurtunities, another day! What an amazing thing. =D How much others would just pay to have another day like me, people with cancer and all those unlucky things would pay loads just to get another day, another week, another month, another year, and somemore time.
No one's gonna acknowledge my Unbirthday, so only I'm able to give myself a present, which is... the present? Yea, the present, for today is a gift.
Everyday the stress, homework, studying, vanity, greed, all that stuff is making me forget to appreciate the simplier things, and in the end all that I really need, I already have.
If I could only maintain this mindset forever then I would totally be living such a carefree life, but that's quite impossible. So all I can do is try.As Will Smith rapped once:
Thoughout life people will make you mad,
Disrespect you and treat you bad.
Let God deal with the things they do,
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
-from Just The Two Of Us
It's such a sweet line. Just thinking about it can't make me angry at anything anymore. Such, we have problems and think life isn't fair. But everyone at one point of their life will think that way. And so yeah, nothing can be changed except for us.
Maybe I've been thinking too much or something, but at least I've been thinking.
And now to my To-Do List:
1. English Oral Speech. (Deadline: 1st or 2nd week of April?
Oh my goodness, I have no ideas for a topic, so I just randomly thought of sushi...
I hope my fussy english teacher will take some interest.
2. Moral Folio. (Deadline: Friday. 2nd May)
I've written the titles, found the pictures, I just have to write out all the information.
3. Study for Mid Year Exam.
I've only:
-covered most of history,
-none at all of geography (I feel bad for this... D= ),
-maths doesn't need studying, just some revision by doing exercises,
-english just needs some studying on my literature notes,
-malay is almost like english, just extra short stories and poetry,
-I have done nothing for chinese. NOTHING,
-I have a headache with science, but I think if I start now I can understand all of it,
-KH is just... X_X Pretty easy but there's woodwork and my woodwork is still kinda... umm... not done?
4. Return Michelle's Northen Lights book (AKA Golden Compass)
It's BORING.
I thought it would be a little different from the movie (which I thought was dead crappy boring too) since it got so many praises and stuff from critics, but no, it's boring. I guess children/fantasy books aren't for me. The only children/fantasy books I can read is Alice In Wonderland, and The Grimm Brothers' stories.
5. Read more books.
And that does not include chick lits such as Gossip Girl and Meg Cabot books. I personally do not want to read too much of Gossip Girl and Meg Cabot or any other chick lit books cause they kind of affect your personality.
The main theme around Gossip Girl is BITCHY BITCHY BITCHY BACKSTABING BITCHY BITCHY BITCHY SLUTS MANWHORES. And that's the main theme. There's other side themes, but they're sidethemes, they aren't as important as the main theme. I do not want to know about the backstabbing promiscuous bitchy mind of spoilt rich kids, and actually be jealous of their fictional life, because that will just cause negative attitudes in me. (The Gossip Girl books are far better than the series by the way, the series just cuts out too much important parts) Meg Cabot is fine, but unrealistic, I think I've grown out of them. I only really liked the Mediator series.
The last un-chick lit-ey book I've read was Grosteque by Natsue Kirino, which was quite... Disturbing and sad really. It really is so sad living your life alone, and then you'll be finding ways to escape and you'll just trapped in your own little escapism world. Quite a sad read really. I'm trying to read a book call Be Yourself currently. I forgot the author's name.
6. Do homework more regularly.
Must. Not. Be. Lazy.
7. Try to keep a positive mindset and do things more positively.
I gotta stop thinking so much! You aren't what you think! You are what you do!
8. Be myself.
And to be myself is all that I can do. =)
Update on life and to-do list.
I am SICK.
Not the perverted sick-sick, but the flu-fever-retardation-sick. =(
I feel like shit.
And oh my god!
Jessica'a coming back to Malaysia!
She moved her ass to China because of her dad's working and shizzlez...
Gonna visit her tomorrow! Can't. Wait. =D
Trying to test some photoshop pop art on her now... Hope it works.
Holy shit I finished it. And it looks... Quite good for my first attempt at pop art!! =D I'm so proud!
Sports Day! And other shizzles
Listening to: Why Cry by The Panic Channel
Mood: Lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... *sleeps* Zzz... *wakes up* zy!
These few days have been...
lazy.
I've been a big fat lazy pig for the past few days and I don't feel guilty. Well, maybe just a tensy wensy little bit.
Had sports day on Thursday and the weather was just hell. It was fine in the beginning since we could be under the tents and then when it was near the end, suddenly the sushi-for-brains-school wanted everyone to be under the sun so that everyone could be in front of the main tent so they could give out the awards.
It was so hot I think even my butt crack was sweating.
I honestly thought that I was gonna die or something. 45 minutes under the fucking blazing 12pm sun and you think we're numb?! We're humans too you inconsiderate assholes!
And Boys Brigade didn't win drill. =(
Most people say the main reason was cause we didn't wear full uniform. We only wore our ugly mufti with long pants and belt. We looked crappy. And our hand swinging was not too good I think.
Sea Cadet won. As long as Red Crescents didn't win again as usual for don't know how many years then I'm happy. HAHAHAHAHA. IN YOUR FACE RED CRESCENTS. HAHAHA.
I don't really care anymore if BB doesn't win. I'll be happy if those sissy chicks in white dresses don't win.
BB is like... "LEG 90 NO CHICKEN WING, HAND SWING 90! USE YOUR HEEL! PACAK!!! SENANGKAN DIRI CAN MOVE ONE AH?! CAN AH?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!oneone11!!!"
=_= Eh. So strict. I know the other groups are quite strict too but they don't have to use their heel... T_T Using your heel is a pain the ass especially when you're on rough ground or grass. People say that our feet are so cute when we march cause we use our heels. And other groups don't have cute feet. xD
Hope next year win la... Last year was pretty good cause we got 2nd place even though it was BB's first year in my school's sports day marching.
After that, me and Seetha were just freaking crazy and wanted to be green so we dug the trash cans for plastic bottles and aluminium cans.
And Oh.My.God.
I. Have. Never. Wanted. To. Kill. The. Students. In. My. School. So. Much. Before.
T_______________________T
There were so many aluminum cans, plastic bottles and JUNK that it could even be made into an atomic bomb and kill Penang. My whole reaction while squashing the bottles was X__x.
And a piccie that I took of Seetha being the good samaritan she is and squashing the bottles:
Trust me, it's about 10 times more than what's in this picture. We filled up a whole big black gigantic bag, and I mean those big ass ones for those BIG BIG trash cans that are as tall as you, not the small ones at pasar malams. And those bottles were squashed.
The aluminum cans just filled up a normal white tesco bag.
It was crazy I tell you, just CRAZY.
And that's about all. Sports Day was so-so.
And I was freaking out over Sejarah Folio for NOTHING. My sj teacher helped everyone by photostatting everything and everyone was done in half an hour. Yes, just half an hour and everyone was finish, we didn't have to search the Internet or anything. My sj teacher is seriously so nice.
We've only done element 1.
She didn't tell us specifically what to do for element 2 so I am unsure and I will not do it yet. But I probably got all the information already.
And Panic At The Disco's new album is pretty... sad... Only Nine In The Afternoon seems a little happy. The other songs are usually slow or acoustic, no more synthesisers. I preferred the old Panic though... and their exclamation mark! I miss it loads! She Had The World is pretty good though, from their new album Pretty. Odd. Even though sad, it's quite nice. I love the first verse the most, it's so sweet.
Oh my goodness. This can't be true.
Listening to: Black Black Heart (remix) by David Usher and Jeff Martin.
Mood: Tired. =_=
I am so damn BUSY!!!
I've cancelled my kumon tuition. After 6 years or so of attending every single week of kumon, I have finally (kinda) quit. I'm only restarting next year since this year is so damn busy with all the studying, folios, kerja khusus, co-curriculums and etc.
DAMN YOU KUMON FOR BEING SO ANNOYING AND EXPENSIVE.
The semester test at my school has just finished and my grade point average is...
75.75. (Only counting the PMR subjects)
Not bad.
Still an A! But damn. I could have done so much better.
My history got only 67.5. =/ Should have studied chapter 2 harder, my chapter 1 is pretty okay, but I slacked a lot during chapter 2 even though my group did do a PowerPoint presentation for it.
Maths got 100. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
First time got full marks. xD But this time was pretty easy and about 20 people in the whole class got full. =_=" Not so exciting liao. I know it's the first class and all but, meh, make me feel inferior even though I got good marks.
And my Geography! Some people got 100 and what did I get? 85 or so... I should have remembered the bearing counting thingy...
And I didn't know Chinese test was when, so I just skipped the whole test. Hell, I'm gonna be dead if my mom finds out.
Anyways, and back to homework:
1. AHHHH!!!!
KERJA KHUSUS SEJARAH!
It's like shit long, and I have not found a single website that has done the essay so I can copy information or isi-isi about the essay...
http://www.moe.gov.my/lpm/files/spua/KS21_2PC.pdf
Total instructions on how to do it. I think my printer's gonna die out on me when I'm finally done since there're so many freaking pages.
Need more ink too. Black's lacking. X_x
2. Geography Folio.
Teacher hasn't told us much about it. But here it is anyways.
Panduan Kerja Kursus Geografi : http://www.moe.gov.my/lpm/files/spua/KK23_2PC.pdf
3. Boys Brigade Marching.
Dear God, I beg of you to help, please.
Marching is evil to my body I tell you. After 3 hours of marching, I'm just... DEAD.
4. Art Folio.
AHH OMG NEED PASS UP ON TUESDAY HAVEN'T DONE MORE THAN 2 PAGES YET AHH HELP.
5. Editorial Board
Need find interesting science related things for school magazine before May.
6. English Oral Test. (Group work)
Haven't found my group yet. Haven't done anything. Supposed to present it 2 weeks later or so. OH SHIT.
7. STUDY!!!!!
Studying is never complete. Especially for PMR. And have they changed the date AGAIN?! WTF. They chiak pa bo su zho ah?!
PMR objective question papers: 13, 14, and 15 October.
PMR subjective question papers: 3, 4, and 5 November.
(Or is it vice-versa?)
And that's all for school. O_____o I wish I had more time and wouldn't be so lazy.
Personal life, don't have much going on, except need to read more Chuck Palahniuk books. I've finished Fight Club, Invisible Monsters, and now I'm halfway through Choke. Buying Survivor next.
And I'm gonna change my blog layout. FINALLY.
Oh.
My.
God.
It's Chinese New Year and it's currently 4:07 in the morning.
And I lack skittles to put in with my beer and shandy.
This year I'm not really in a celebration mood... I don't know why.
I just wanna sleep all day.
And wtf is happening to My Chemical Romance?! I mean seriously wtf. It's been about 7 months since they had a single! 7 freaking months! And I honestly don't really like The Black Parade. It gets old fast and the concept albums are just... kinda annoying after awhile.
I really prefered Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. They still had a harder edge to them back then. Now it's just gothic pop. Freaking gothic pop. And Three Cheers had a good concept to the album, not just some "guy dying to hell and revisiting his past" thingy.
Whatever I guess, I think I've just grown out of them. I've become more different in choosing music and they've changed their music into a more gothic sound.
Anyways, back to the chinese new year topic. I'm sleepy and I haven't finished my origami rat thinggys.... And I can't find a pair of scissors anywhere...
I better sleep soon since it's 4:17 in the morning already.
I'm so damn busy.
I'm so damn busy.
You know the perfect song for this moment?
牛仔很忙 by Jay Chou.
Actually no it's not suitable. It's a childish song and my computer has fucking hanged for the fucking twentieth time while I'm typing this I can't even see the fucking screen.
Oh my goodness I'm so fucking stressed out and my computer is not helping.
Sorry for the profanities but I can't really care much now.
My condition?
- 1:20 a.m. in the morning.
- Studying that is not complete. (This can't be blamed since studying can never be completed.)
- My computer connection sucks and it has hanged for at least the 35th time already.
- I have to type down 13 pages of history for a school project.
- I have to type down the 1st chapter of history for my own notes.
- It's been ages since I've gone out. I've been like a nerd in school/home/tuition only.
- I've just found out my chinese class is on Tuesday and I have to cancel my malay tuition which is actually quite good. (But I'm planning to change to their science class... But I think there aren't any vacancies currently.
- I'm suffering from lack of sleep so my throat currently hurts and I've got 2 ulsers for about a week or more already.
- I need to get one of those ragged scarfs sell in those indian shops before half the people in Penang wear them.
- I need to get a belt buckle. But the prices are pretty ridiculous. I saw a kick ass Metallica belt buckle the other day but it was like 40 bucks.
- I've just googled Form 3 history and the search results most of them were folio shits. It seems complicated. Oh shit.
- I need to do my moral folio.
- I am sleepy and all the sleep I've got today was only 3 hours.
- There is prayer service tomorrow. I do know that faith is important in our lives but why pursue something when you are still questioning it? Why not pursue other things that you are more sure of? And I'm sorry but I'm just being honest, the prayers are boring and I'm sure to doze off a little here and there because of my lack of sleep now. And I've got tuition after school tomorrow so I can't sleep until I get home from tuition which is about 7 pm. And then there's dinner... And homework... And my folios... And my school projects... And studying...
Oh my God I think I'm gonna cry. I'm so fucking busy that I rarely get any fun. I have to insert fun here and there occasionally so that I don't die. Like listening to music, and reading some books. (I'm currently reading The Fall Of The House Of Usher and Other Writings by Edgar Allan Poe. Interesting book but it's written in an old english way or something, so it's sometimes very long-winded and boring.)
And I need cash. I wanna buy a
And just for my work reference and I'm scared my dad will screw the computer and all the favourite links will be lost, my sejarah folio links and other study links:
http://nextlevel.com.sg/question/10059 (For SJ Folio. Adat perkahwinan orang cina.)
http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag51ejYcCeq3X1NBxFCICvAh4wt.;_ylv=3?qid=20070619000311AAK2bQL (Yahoo Answers SJ Folio. Info about perkahwinan orang melayu.)
http://malaysiana.pnm.my/01/0102cna_pengenalan.htm (Warisan budaya Malaysia. For extra folio information.)
And oh my God we have to get pictures, interviews, and videos for this folio. VIDEOS. WHAT THE FISHSTICKS?! How the hell can you stuff videos into a book?! Or maybe I just heard wrong. I'm doing the preparations anyways since I don't wanna risk my life and sleep, plus I can get more time to study.
Well anyways, if they need it here it is:
(NOT YET FOUND CAUSE INTERNET CONNECTION IS FUCKING SCREWED. THIS IS THE 3RD TIME I'M TYPING IT AND I HOPE IT FINALLY FUCKING REGISTERS.)
It is now 3am in the morning and finally this post is done. I finally did 1/3 of the 1/5 part of chapter 2 in history.
My eyes hurt, I've just cried and used at least 12 tissues. And I need to sleep soon.